Why I Must Be Myself

‘I must be myself.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are so many pressures placed upon us in this world to conform.

Men, through the power of organization and a desire to control and bring into order, have so often institutionalized that which otherwise can be performed as an overflow of our uniqueness.

But my observation has been this, that there are many roads that lead to the mountaintop of true worship.

For many it is to take the well-worn highway, but there are other trails to traverse, and for some they must cut their own path for they must be themselves.

In my spiritual journey this has become more evident in my own life with the passing of years. For my first 25 years I conformed to the religious ways of my parents. It was a fairly smooth pathway that carried me along to that point.

A Blast Of Light

And yet at the age of 25 my settled life was penetrated by a blast of light – not dissimilar to Paul on the road to Damascus. This divine interruption to my life challenged the very foundations of my first 25 years. I was like a child again discovering a goldmine of new and exciting divinity like I had never before experienced.

Never at this time though could I believe that the company of believers whom I would then join could be as bound by the traditions of men as those whom I had been in the company of for my first 25 years.

And yet they were.

Sure, it was packaged in a more attractive array of presentation – but alas it was riddled with the same treacherous things that sought to engulf my uniqueness in a spirit of dead religion, guilt oppression and expected conformity.

Breaking Free Again

For years I struggled with this because I hoped and wished that it would not be so – but as insidious as was the tentacles of the religion that I had left at the age of 25 I found myself another 25 years later leaving again because of the very same level of manipulative operation at the hands of men.

This is not God’s problem. This is the instrument of men – which may suit some – but for me to be what I have been called to be I cannot be a part of such a machine.

I must be myself – free from judgment, free from manipulation, free from the driving force of guilt positioning, free from the puppetry performed on stage and free from the expectation of conformity.

I was not born to be conformed. I was created to be transformed by the ongoing renewal of my mind.

I have found my own expression. I have found my own voice. I have found the truth. I have found the way. I have found the life that the General of the Universe has for me.

I am and so I will be, so I will speak, so I will write, so I will create and so will I live.

Alone at times – yet not – in the company of those whom I love and those who love me just as myself.

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